Addendum: Wishful Thinking in Psychology

Golombok, S., Tasker, F. L., & Murray, C. (1997). Children raised in fatherless families from infancy: Family relationships and the socioemotional development of children of lesbian and single heterosexual mothers. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 38, 783-791.

Investigated family functioning and the psychological development of children (aged 3-9 yrs.) raised in fatherless families since their first year of life. Thirty lesbian mother families and 42 families headed by a single heterosexual mother were compared with 41 two-parent heterosexual families using standardized interview and questionnaire measures of the quality of parenting and the socioemotional development of the child. Results show that children raised in fatherless families from infancy experienced greater warmth and interaction with their mother and were more securely attached to her, although they perceived themselves to be less cognitively and physically competent than their peers from father-present families. No differences were identified between families headed by lesbian and single heterosexual mothers, except for greater mother-child interaction in lesbian mother families. It seems that children raised in fatherless families from birth or early infancy are not disadvantaged in terms of either the quality of their relationship with their mother or their emotional well-being. (PsycINFO Database Record. Copyright © 2002 by the American Psychological Association. All rights reserved.)

The actual results of the study? Children without fathers were more attached to their mother, but had a lower self-image. The conclusion of the abstract? "Children raised in fatherless families... are not disadvantaged." Doesn't sound like that to me.

After paging through dozens of these studies, it is clear that gay parents don't make their kids gay, and that lesbian parents are apparently just as good as single mothers if not better - but also that there is definitely something missing in fatherless homes. Listen to quotes like these:

"While some [gay fathers] truly desired children and valued the role children play in their lives, some homosexual subjects had children mainly to attain some type of social status. All subjects tended to value children negatively." (1989)

"More children of heterosexual mothers depicted the family and father in activities with them than did children of lesbian mothers. Also, the majority of children with heterosexual mothers drew scenes depicting cooperation between the child and other figures, whereas most of the children of lesbian mothers did not. It was noteworthy that most of the children in the sample included the father in their drawings, suggesting that the father is a very important figure in these children's lives regardless of mother's sexual orientation." (1983)

"Heterosexual parents made a greater effort to provide an opposite-sex role model for their children." (1985)

"Heterosexuals' children [ages 2 to 5] saw themselves as more aggressive, were seen as more bossy and domineering, more active in asserting themselves, more negativistic, more involved in power struggles, and less likely to take commands and demands in stride. In contrast, lesbians' children had a more lovable self-image, expressed more helplessness, and were seen as more affectionate and responsive, and as more protective toward those younger. Data regarding gender differences demonstrated that lesbians' daughters were especially interested in developing relationships and heterosexuals' sons were notably active in asserting themselves." (1985)

"[Undergrad] Respondents attributed more problematic behavior in a variety of domains to the child of the [single] lesbian mother." (1999)
"Differences in [undergrad] subjects' ratings indicated that a boy raised by gay fathers was perceived to be experiencing greater confusion regarding his sexual orientation and gender identity[...] These assumptions were significantly predicted by the subjects' stereotype of gay men as effeminate, above and beyond the subjects' political conservatism and religious attendance." (1999)
"[Children of coming-out parents] were more likely to report negative initial reactions if the parent was their father as opposed to their mother."

Other worrisome findings:
"Women reported significantly greater dissatisfaction with parenting arrangements than their husbands or gay parents." (1993)

"In all types of dual-parent families, parents were sought by their child for different activities."